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How to Help Your Grieving Children, Teens, and Families
By Lisa Mottola Ernst, MSW, LCSW In working with grieving children, teens and families, I get many questions concerning children and their ability to grieve. Before answering these questions, it is important to note that children grieve differently than adults. For them, the loss of a parent, sister, brother, grandparent, friend or classmate brings both sadness and confusion. Given a child’s ability to love deeply, that child in turn grieves deeply as well. These grieving children need special care. Developmentally, it is important for children and teens to attend social functions and receive that peer support after a loved one has died. Many of these emotions are often displayed initially as…
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Attachment Issues and Infant Adoption
By Kathy Petefish, LMSW, LCPC, BCBA, LBA How often have I heard those frustrating and sad words in the last 15 years that I have worked with children? At least a hundred, since working with children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) has been in my wheelhouse for over a decade. These words are frustrating because they are very often not true. Just because a child is adopted as an infant does not mean they will not have difficulty with attachment issues. Foster and adoptive parents are set up for failure, confusion, and heartbreak when professionals, who do not have accurate information, tell them differently. These words are sad—very sad—because if…
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Unconditional Love and Boundaries
A reflection on Cloud & Townsend’s “Boundaries with Kids” In Christian terms, unconditional love is love that doesn’t depend on the attitudes or actions of the beloved. It is a self-sacrificing love, which finds its ultimate expression in Christ’s sacrifice on the cross: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, RSV). Yet we know that God did not love us just to leave us wallowing in our sin; on the contrary, we are told, “Do you not know that God’s love is meant to lead you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4, RSV). We all desire love from our parents, children,…
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New Year’s Resolutions for Parents
by Carolyn Knarr, MSW, LCSW, Director of Children’s Therapeutic Services Every year around this time many of us make new year’s resolutions but very few of us keep them. Here are some resolutions for parents that are worth keeping: 1. Increase the amount of time you spend in casual conversation with your child. A recent study showed that 85% of what parents say to their children is either telling them what to do or what not to do. Very quickly, children turn off their listening ears. Try making positive comments about what they are wearing, or their hair, or something they have done well recently. For example: “I don’t know…
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