Living Life Abundantly During the Holidays

We all know that Christmas should be a time of joy, but the reality for many is very different. The holidays can be a challenging season of managing thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Sometimes, family stresses can be greatly exaggerated and even become intolerable over the holiday period when everyone is forced to spend time together, trying to put the best behavior forward and trying to keep things cheerful. Sometimes needing approval for creating the “perfect Christmas” can result in feelings of anxiety and being rushed. For some, the holidays can be a very lonely time. This time of year can be a reminder that we are out of contact with people who used to be in our lives. Feelings of grief, sadness, and loneliness might result in withdrawing and isolation. So what can we do? How can we get through this time to better help ourselves and others? Maybe even change things so that we can feel better about it?

A theme of Agape newsletter articles is often that our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings create our behaviors, and our behaviors help to confirm our thoughts/core beliefs. It makes sense then that if we change the way we speak and think, or change what we do, it can change the way we feel. Conversely, if we continue thinking and doing the very things we’ve always done that are making us miserable, then nothing will change and we will have a miserable holiday.

Ask yourself the following questions :

• How can I talk to myself differently?
• What can I say about this situation differently?
• How can I think differently?
• What are my negative core beliefs about myself and what needs to change in order for things to be different?
• How can I behave differently?
• How might I feel if I think/act differently if I speak over this situation differently?

Most of all, take time to remember the real meaning of Christmas. Jesus was born so that we can have life and have it more abundantly! If we let ourselves fall into the world’s trap of having to celebrate a “perfect” Christmas of festivities and gifts, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Use what quiet interludes you have during the season to reflect on Christ’s birth and re-discover, not only the true meaning of Christmas, but also relationship with Him as well as the true joy He brings into our lives.

Merry Christmas,

Kathryn Manley, MS, LPC, CST
Individual, Family, and Marriage Counseling
Certified Sex Therapist (AASECT)