Intimate Communication: Let’s Talk About Sex

When a couple is in a long-term monogamous relationship, symptoms affecting sexuality as the result of medical issues, chronic illness or disability, or even natural aging, are inevitable. Naturally, as we pass through life, our bodies experience physiological changes which affect our sexual functioning. Physiological changes might include pregnancy and nursing, coronary artery disease, cancer treatments, arthritis and chronic pain, injuries, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, aging, prostate problems or autoimmune disorders. Learning how to navigate through these changes by means of communication and compassion can be helpful for the sexual relationship.

Medical issues, chronic illness, disability and aging are all capable of affecting the sexual relationship and can create symptoms that include depression, anxiety, fatigue, emotional exhaustion, chronic pain nausea, vomiting, appetite loss, dehydration and weakness, osteoporosis, and urinary incontinence. Other symptoms might include low libido, low self-esteem and body image, hot flashes, mood swings, and issues with arousal, orgasm and ejaculation.

When there is emotional and physiological change, medicinal intervention is frequently part of treatment. Many medications can cause sexual side effects. Having a heightened understanding of those side effects can aid in compassionate communication between a couple. Some common medications that people take regularly which might interfere with sexual functioning include antidepressants and anti-anxieties, as well as medications for enlarged prostate, high blood pressure, and diabetes, just to name a few.  Sexual side effects with these and other medications can include decreases in both sexual desire and function.

When there is a chronic illness or change in the body that affects sexuality, it’s natural to be embarrassed when talking about the effects it has on sex. Often, it can be difficult to even bring up sexual matters or concerns with your spouse. There can be fears of judgement, criticism or rejection. In many cases, the couple has been uninformed about sexual functioning or do not understand medical terminology, which creates heightened anxiety when there are medical complications. Sometimes, there have been negative messages throughout life about sex and sexuality, which can make dealing with chronic illness and bodily changes even more of a challenge.

We’ve discussed in previous articles that, over the course of one’s life, change is inevitable.  Having healthy communication and compassion toward one another with regard to sexual changes throughout the decades of life is a salient aspect to a fulfilling, intimate, long-term, monogamous relationship. At Agape Christian Counseling, we are here to help. If you are struggling with navigating a difficult conversation about sexuality and intimacy, we have trained professionals to guide the way. Life brings changes in every aspect of our life. Even when they are of the most intimate nature, you don’t have to go it alone.

Blessings,

Kathryn Manley, MS, LPC, CST
Individual, Family, and Marriage Counseling
Certified Sex Therapist (AASECT)