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Perfectionism: Not So Perfect
The Problem with Perfectionism Bob Vass, PLPC, NCC A person’s blind pursuit of perfection causes constant frustration and pain. If you are a perfectionist, by trying to achieve the impossible in every area of your life, you set yourself up to fail again and again. By demanding perfection in trivial endeavors as well as in matters of consequence, you can create a self-defeating tyrant. Do not misunderstand the point. For the professional or for the homemaker, whether you are a doctor, a teacher, a minister, or a housewife— you should still expect much from yourself. The difference, however, is that you should learn to establish priorities and to seek progress,…
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Raising Teenagers with Good Values
By John A. Leber Jr. MA, PLPC Having worked in education for over six years as a counselor, teacher, and coach, I’ve found one troubling question that keeps presenting itself: Who is raising our teenagers and from where do they get their values and sense of worth? The obvious answer would be that their parents are raising them and are instilling the appropriate values and beliefs. Unfortunately, we need to question this belief and realize that our teenagers are absorbing information and often taking action based on what they see and hear from mass media. The halls of our local high schools are filled with thousands of students, nearly all…
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Lose and Win at the Same Time: A Lesson from Jesus on Marital Surrender
By Kristy Cobillas, MEd, PLPC We know in this chapter that Jesus was talking about how the Christ follower is to lay down (or sacrifice) what he or she wants and how he or she thinks things should be, in order to follow the way that is laid out by Christ Jesus. This same concept of surrender can be applied to the marital unit. Paul states in Ephesians 5:21 that husbands and wives ought to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” For many, this idea of submission becomes scary as neither one wants to be the one to lose. The couple becomes gridlocked over seemingly intractable issues…
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Restoring Your Child By Giving A Behavioral “Re-do”
By Shelley Kues, MEd, LPC, Child Therapist Peter denied Jesus three times on that awful night. Peter had every intention of doing “the right thing” earlier that evening when Jesus had predicted that Peter would disown him. Peter couldn’t imagine the events that would follow. Just like Peter, our children have good intentions to do what is right. It is my belief that our children will do well if they can. Dr. Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child, writes that, when the demands or expectations being placed upon a child exceed the skills that they have to respond adaptively, they will respond in maladaptive ways (Greene, 2014). Dr. Greene…
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