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Grown-up Holiday Selfishness: Moving from Arrogance to Altruism
Selfishness can be easily spotted in children, especially during the holiday season. Although the holidays are a particularly challenging time for children to keep selfishness in check, it can be just as challenging for grown-ups! It’s part of being human. We have talked quite a lot about having a strong sense of self, being able to regulate our emotions, and being able to tolerate emotional pain for growth. Although this is what we want for our children, it’s easy to dismiss, justify, or rationalize our own selfish behavior. As we enter this year’s holiday season, I would like to challenge all of us grown-ups to look at ourselves and consider…
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Teaching Your Kids Selflessness at Christmastime
by Carolyn Knarr, MSW, LCSW, Director of Children’s Therapeutic Services That first Christmas night God knelt down and placed his newborn son in a small barn with no heat, no electric lights, and no red carpet welcome, just mice, straw, the chill of the night and the stench of animals. That is how much He loved us. That is the message of Christmas. Fast forward over two thousand years. We stand as Ghosts of Christmas Future in the living room of an American home. Halloween is barely over. The glossy ads from Best Buy are strewn over the coffee table with a Dell computer, iPhone, and the newest Apple iPad…
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Fears & Things That Go Bump in the Night
by Carolyn Knarr, MSW, LCSW, Director of Children’s Therapeutic Services Childhood fears are a normal part of growing up. Children who have vivid imaginations, or who have been exposed to circumstances or ideas that are beyond their understanding will be more likely to have fears. God gave us fears to keep us safe. For example, a child with a fear of fire would avoid playing with matches. A child afraid of heights will be more careful when hiking or exploring. Fears change as kids grow and develop. Common fears during the preschool years include fear of such things as: the dark, masks, clowns and other people in costumes, noises at…
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Abandonment, Self-Sabotage, & Relationships
Have you ever found yourself sabotaging relationships of your own or known someone who has? Self-sabotage is a common struggle that individuals may face in the process of building and maintaining relationships. Generally speaking, self-sabotage stems from self-abandonment. In other words, an individual struggles with loving themselves. Throughout our life, the more we struggle with self-limiting, self-defeating core beliefs of being unlovable and unworthy, the more we begin to become angry with ourselves and then actually abandon ourselves. These core beliefs, however, are the result of our fear of being abandoned by others, which might result in our sabotaging relationships, therefore confirming our core beliefs and fears. Now don’t get…
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