Just Love Yourself

Just Love Yourself!

How can you demonstrate patience if you are not patient and kind with yourself?

How can you be forgiving if you are judgmental and unforgiving toward yourself?

How can you show mercy and compassion to others if you are critical of yourself?

How can you have healthy boundaries if you are unable to set and maintain boundaries with yourself?

How can you truly love another if you have rejected yourself?

Transforming relationships with others is important, yet we often forget about transforming the relationship we each have with our own self. As many of us know, it’s truly difficult to have healthy relationships with others if we are the object of self-rejection, self-hatred, and are unwilling to forgive ourselves. Are you in a loving relationship with yourself or is it more abusive? Before we can truly love another, we must learn to love ourselves. The relationship we have with ourself determines the quality of relationships we will have with others. When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment of all, He quoted Deuteronomy 6:5 saying that we are to love God with all our heart. Then, to the surprise of many, He added what would be known as the second greatest commandment: ‘You should love your neighbor as yourself’ (Mark 12:31). Think about that…. We are to love our spouse the way we love ourselves. We are to love our children as we love ourselves. Makes sense. Right?

Relationships can be challenging! If we treat ourselves with an unforgiving and bitter spirit, it would make sense that we would likewise hold things against others. If we’re critical of ourselves, it makes sense that we would be hard on others, too.

In order to love to the maximum capacity, we need to fully embrace, cherish, and love ourselves unconditionally. Sometimes people may shy away from this concept. The world models self-love to look like arrogance, narcissism, and as being stuck-up and prideful. Actually, the contrary is true. Loving yourself means to value yourself – not loving your faults, but accepting and loving the essence of who God made when He made you. Value is determined by the price that someone is willing to pay for something. When we realize that our value has been determined by the price that Jesus paid for us, we see that this is the foundation of a loving, committed relationship with self! Recognizing that we were made in the image of Christ, and realizing that the power of the Holy Spirit dwells inside us, creates a genuine foundation of self-love that is Godly. This type of self-love is what enables us to love others because we no longer look outside of ourselves to increase our value. External things such as people, appearances, money, occupation, etc., are no longer our supply source for self-validation. The Bible clearly says that God made us in His image and after His likeness (Genesis 1:26). It follows, then, that developing a loving relationship with yourself in this way is the best gift you can give to those around you.

If you are struggling with loving yourself and being thankful for how you were created, take heart because our God is a God of transformation and newness! At Agape Christian Counseling Services, we have skillful therapists who can walk you through the transformative process of self-growth and self-love. A new year is an amazing season for transforming self-rejection into self-acceptance. Imagine yourself letting go of insecurities, letting go of those who have hurt you, and more fully loving yourself. Because of Christ’s love for us, we don’t have to abandon or reject ourselves. We can be free of those negative reactions.

Let this new year be full of thanksgiving for how God has made you and for what He has done for you! Show Him your gratitude by loving yourself.

Blessings,

Kathryn Manley, MS, LPC, CST
Individual, Family, and Marriage Counseling
Certified Sex Therapist (AASECT)