Loving Young Adults Through Transition

By Elizabeth Nimmo, MA, LPC

The days are getting longer. I’ve opened my windows and planted flowers and herbs. My neighborhood is active with families and children enjoying the spring air and I have already heard the bell for the ice cream truck. Spring is upon us and summer is right around the corner. It’s a beautiful and exciting season in the Midwest! While this season marks the beginning of many wonderful activities and events, it also marks the beginning of transition for many teenagers and young adults. Summer is ripe with opportunities and change. Although many of those hold much promise and potential, weighed carefully and planned intentionally with excitement and anticipation, such transition presents unique opportunities in our families and social circles. As a therapist to many older teenagers and young adults, I have noticed that this season brings joy, but also anxiety.

As teenagers anticipate first jobs or their senior year and high school graduates look forward to college, college graduates are taking their first steps into the real world. Change is imminent, in all its shiny newness and awkward uncertainty. Regardless of the age and stage represented, anticipation and fear are present, sometimes cultivating a deep sense of uncertainty. It is common for teenagers and young adults to experience mild to moderate anxiety and depression in the face of such transition. Often, questions of identity, ability, worth, and purpose are at the root of such struggles.

These are times when young adults most need their families to be solid, stable sources of love and care. Their worlds are ever changing and often evolve quickly. Young adults need, and thrive in, families who provide consistent love and care. When they experience stability and consistency within their family units, they experience safety and are therefore free to engage in authentic vulnerability. Perhaps the greatest struggle I see in teenagers and young adults is fear. They fear being themselves and often feel a significant sense of threat to their already fragile identities. As such, the greatest gift we, as adults, can give, is a relationship based upon care, love, and non-judgment, which allows freedom, authenticity, and vulnerability to grow. Safety creates stability within transition; to developing young adults, this may well be the greatest gift in a toxic and fast-paced culture.

As adults who love and care for teens and young adults, we have the perfect opportunity to walk alongside them while offering words of wisdom, sincere support, nonjudgmental safety, and genuine care. Altogether, these experiences translate to hope. In this instance, your title – whether parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, pastor, teacher, friend, or mentor – does not matter, as we all have the ability, through Christ, to cheer on our young adults with genuine and sincere presence. Transition creates beautiful opportunities for the development of independence, self-assurance, confidence, and above all, reliance upon God. Allow your young adult to see you relying upon God in the midst of transition, both personally and on their behalf. Encourage your young adult to see times of transition as a platform to move closer to God and know Him more deeply.

This summer, should you find yourself loving and caring for a teenager or emerging adult, consider  it a time of wonderful opportunity to sow seeds of love and care. To do so is easy and costs little — only willingness and presence. Take the time to listen with warmth and interest, witness fear and indecision without judgment, and give hope freely. Plan a coffee date, offer a meal, make a phone call, or take the time, with your own unique gifts, to seek out and pour yourself into a young adult. Pray for them and earnestly walk this season with them. Love boldly, creatively, and confidently. Be the cheerleader, the caregiver, and the confidant. Such gifts are priceless experiences that we will only know the value of in eternity.

About the Author

Elizabeth is a Licensed Professional Counselor working out of the South County location. She works with a variety of clientele, including children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.  Her passion is to help people of all ages create meaningful lives based upon freedom and authenticity. Click on the picture to the left for Elizabeth’s full bio.